Respect the power of grief. Know that it can affect you psychologically, physically, and spiritually in intense and sometimes surprising ways. Stay gentle with yourself
When Vital Help is Refused
By EARL GROLLMAN
There is no joy in my father's life since my sister died two years ago. He has little interest in normal activities and has withdrawn from friends and family. I've suggested counseling but he refuses and insists, 'There's nothing wrong with me. Just leave me alone already." What can I do?
Grief is a normal part of life,
and yet it feels pathological and crazy
material taken from the book The Normal Family by
- If you think you are going insane… That’s normal
- If all you do is cry ….That’s normal
- If you have trouble with the most minor decisions …. That’s normal
- If you can’t taste your food or have some semblance of an appetite … That’s normal
- If you have feelings of rage, denial and depression .. That’s normal
- If you find yourself enjoying a funny moment and immediately feel guilty… That’s normal
- If your friends dwindle away and you feel like you have the plague … That’s normal
If your blood boils and the hair on your nose curls when someone tells you “It was God’s will”
If you can’t talk about it, but you smash dishes, shred up the old phone books, or kick the garbage can
down the lane …. That’s normal
- If you share your story, your feelings with an understanding listener, another bereaved person … That’s a beginning
- If you get a glimmer of your loved one’s life rather than his/her death ….That’s wonderful
- If you can remember your loved one with a smile, That’s healing
If you find your mirrors have become windows And you are able to reach out to others who
are grieving … That’s growing
A Year is a Relative Thing
By Ellen Zinner
A year is the period of a planet's revolution around the sun-365 days for the earth, longer for some planets, shorter for others. In the life of a bereaved individual, the time period of a year is a relative thing
I Thought of You…
I thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new.
I thought about you yesterday and days before that too.
I think of you in silence,
I often speak your name.
Now all I have are memories, and your picture in a frame.
Your memory is my keepsake, with which I'll never part.
God has you in His keeping; I have you in my heart.
A million times I've needed you, a million times I've cried.
If love alone could have saved you, you never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly; in death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place; no one else will ever fill.
It broke my heart to lose you, but you didn't go alone.
Part of me went with you the day God took you home.
Do Not Stand…
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there …I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints on snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn’s rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand on my grave and cry.
I am not there … I did not die.
“Grieving is not about forgetting. Grieving allows us to heal, to remember with love rather than pain. It is a sorting process. One by one you let go of the things that are gone and you mourn for them. One by one you take hold of the things that have become a part of who you are and build again.” Rachel Remen, M.D.; My Grandfather’s Blessings
Grief is often a component of traumatic incidents, therefore it is important to understand how grief is both similar to and different from post traumatic stress disorder. Grief is the loss of something that defines who you are. Most people think about grief in relation to a death; however, grief can be experienced as a result of a loss of any element that defines someone.
Typically, an individual who loses a loved one who was a part of their every day life will not begin to experience a lessening of their grief for two years. The closer the relationship, the more likely it is that intense and long-term grief will be experienced.