Word of Comfort

Respect the power of grief. Know that it can affect you psychologically, physically, and spiritually in intense and sometimes surprising ways. Stay gentle with yourself

When Vital Help is Refused

There is no joy in my father’s life since my sister died two years ago. He has little interest in normal activities and has withdrawn from friends and family. I’ve suggested coun­seling but he refuses and insists, ‘There’s nothing wrong with me. Just leave me alone already.” What can I do?

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Grief is a normal part of life,
and yet it feels pathological and crazy
material taken from the book The Normal Family by
Edith Frazer

  • If you think you are going insane… That’s normal
  • If all you do is cry ….That’s normal
  • If you have trouble with the most minor decisions …. That’s normal
  • If you can’t taste your food  or have some semblance of an appetite … That’s normal
  • If you have feelings of rage, denial and depression ..  That’s normal
  • If you find yourself enjoying a funny moment and immediately feel guilty… That’s normal
  • If your friends dwindle away and you feel like you have the plague … That’s normal
  • If your blood boils and the hair on your nose curls when someone tells you “It was God’s will”
    That’s normal
  • If you can’t talk about it, but you smash dishes, shred up the old phone books, or kick the garbage can
    down the lane …. That’s normal
  • If you share your story, your feelings with an understanding listener, another bereaved person … That’s a beginning
  • If you get a glimmer of your loved one’s life rather than his/her death ….That’s wonderful
  • If you can remember your loved one with a smile, That’s healing
  • If you find your mirrors have become windows And  you are able to reach out to others who are grieving … That’s growing

A Year is a Relative Thing
By Ellen Zinner

A year is the period of a planet’s revolution around the sun-365 days for the earth, longer for some planets, shorter for others. In the life of a bereaved individual, the time period of a year is a relative thing

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“Grieving is not about forgetting.  Grieving allows us to heal, to remember with love rather than pain.  It is a sorting process.  One by one you let go of the things that are  gone and you mourn for them.  One by one you take hold of the things that have become a  part of  who you are and build again.” Rachel Remen, M.D.;  My Grandfather’s Blessings
Grief is often a component of traumatic incidents, therefore it is important to understand how grief is both similar to and different from post traumatic stress disorder.  Grief is the loss of something that defines who you are.  Most people think about grief in relation to a death; however, grief can be experienced as a result of a loss of any element that defines someone.
Typically, an individual who loses a loved one who was a part of their every day life will not begin to experience a lessening of their grief for two years.  The closer the relationship, the more likely it is that intense and long-term grief will be experienced.
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